Celebrating a Milestone - Remembering a Year of Breastfeeding

On Monday, I reached one of my goals - I have been exclusively breastfeeding (with added solids) for one whole year!! I'm so proud of our journey and feel extremely blessed that I was able to give Nora the best start in life. What could be a better birthday gift than the bonding between mother and child; lowered risk of cancer for both; and immunities to protect your little one?

Birthday girl

As I think back on my first year of motherhood, some of my fondest memories include the special moments of love and relaxation spent with my sweet babe at my breast. When she needed nutrition, my breasts provided. When she needed comfort, my breasts provided. When she couldn't sleep and everything else failed...you guessed it, my breasts provided.

There were also struggles, namely mastitis, flat nipples, and an oversupply. And of course, we dealt with the usual issues like distracted nursing and teething. I remember being so nervous for her to get teeth that would inevitably graze my nipple (or worse). But we made it through all of the issues and challenges, and here we are on the other side.

Milk Coma

I always knew I would breastfeed. For me, there was no other option. As I learned more during pregnancy and then experienced breastfeeding, there was no doubt I'd nurse for a year and assess the situation. There was a brief time when I was feeling a bit "tied down" by nursing, and thought maybe I'd be grateful for the freedom after a year. As Nora was able to go longer in between nursing sessions, that feeling dissipated, and was replaced by me looking forward to sharing that special time together.

Breastfeeding on her birthday

Now that we're at the one year mark, I can't imagine stopping anytime soon. There is no doubt that the perfect situation for us is to allow Nora to self wean, when she decides it is time for our breastfeeding relationship to end. I know it will be a sad day for me, so I'm trying to slowly prepare myself for it. Now if I could only add a new squish so I could tandem nurse...

Freedom from the Shield

I had no idea that flat nipples were a real thing.

I grew up thinking that nipples were nipples and it didn't matter how they looked or what they were like because I would still be able to breastfeed.

The glorious day came for my sweet girl to be born and I was mentally preparing myself. My thoughts were something like this, "We will do skin to skin and then she will latch. It will be easy!" Well in all honesty, she latched. But OH MY WORD it HURT!!! I think I knew that it would hurt but I had no idea it would hurt that bad.

About 10 minutes after she was born.

So we made it through our first night together. I called a nurse in every time I tried to latch her because it just did not feel right.

The next morning the most wonderful person I had ever met came into our room. Our Lactation Consultant. (Hi Sharie!!) She took one look at me and said, "Oh Honey, You're going to need a shield." *cue confused look from me* I had no idea what that was but if it let me breastfeed my sweet baby I was game!

Momma needed to have some fun sometimes!

We took the shield home and that was how my baby ate. She made it back to birth weight by one week and she was thriving!

But I was not. I felt so trapped. I felt like I couldn't nurse her anywhere but my house because putting on the shield exposed me too much. I knew how important breastfeeding was to my daughter so I continued to push through and planned outings around the shield.

I called my LC multiple times asking how to wean her from it but every time we tried it was a huge mess. I would give up and say that I would try again next week, remembering the advice my LC gave me. She said that L would decide when she was done with the shield. I kept waiting. Praying that she would figure this thing out.

Suddenly at 5 months she got it. She looked up at me with her goofy smile, grabbed the shield and threw it across the room. And as I was standing to go get it she latched like a pro. I cried. And cried. I felt like I could FINALLY leave the house!

Mommas with shields. Do. Not. Worry. Every kid grows out of it and learns how to latch!

Merry Christmas! Love, Lily!

Do Faulty Breasts = Breastfeeding Failure?

As soon as my husband and I started trying to get pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. Okay, I always knew I wanted to, but that was when I made a serious commitment to it. I'm extremely stubborn, so when I set my mind to something, it's pretty much a done deal. 

All the research shows that breast is best, not only for the baby, but for the mother as well. I wanted all those benefits for my baby and myself! Lower chance of food allergies and reduced risk of disease? Yes please! Lower risk of breast cancer (for mother and baby!)? Yes please! Let's also not forget that breastmilk is always evolving and changing based on your baby's needs. How cool is that?? 

Another big reason breastfeeding was so important to me was because of ingredients in formula that I personally find questionable. We eat a very specific way in my household, and formula just wouldn't do the trick for my babe. Besides that, I knew I would feel like a failure as a mother if I couldn't provide natural nourishment for my child. I know not everyone feels that extreme about breastfeeding, but I do.

I learned everything I possibly could about breastfeeding. I was like a sponge, soaking it all up. There are loads of books, websites, and videos to teach you the ins and outs. It can get overwhelming! Some of these resources were downright scary. Would it be excruciating? Would I be able to push through the inevitable pain? Would I have enough milk? 

But the questions that plagued me the most were about my own breasts, which I felt were going to be lemons.

"Would my flat nipples cooperate?"

"Would my breast augmentation (implants) ruin my chance to BF?" 

I've had flat nipples my whole life (I'm starting to think I always will). If the nipple is so important in breastfeeding, how would that affect my experience? I became more hopeful once I read about nipple shields and nipple shells. I knew there were at least options for working with my flat nipples. One hurdle down, one to go.

I was still unsure about how my breast augmentation, which now seemed vain and superficial, would affect my breastfeeding relationship. I searched and searched for information about breastfeeding after an augmentation, but I couldn't find much. Basically, I might be able to make it work, but I might not. Would breast implants be what stood between me and giving my daughter the best? I was genuinely worried about this, but I was determined (aka stubborn).

After the beautiful birth of my baby girl (which you can read about here), I was anxious to try our first latch. We enjoyed skin to skin immediately, and while I basked in the glory of knowing I had just given life to a human being, I waited for her to begin rooting and crawling toward the breast. When she finally seemed interested, one of the nurses was kind enough to come over and help me get Nora latched. We got her on a few times, and I could feel her suckling. But it wasn't going great and she kept popping off. Her tiny little mouth just wouldn't fit on my pancake nipple. It also felt pretty excruciating. 

I was on such a natural birth high and didn't want to come down with the devastation of breastfeeding not working. But sweet Jen (the nurse) wasn't about to let that happen! She quickly left to go grab a nipple shield and the problem was solved. 

Photo Courtesy of Lori Diane Photography

I think the look of sheer joy on my face says it all. I was breastfeeding my baby! It was such an amazing and wonderful gift. I was overjoyed and relieved that the nurses and lactation consultant seemed impressed with the amount of colostrum that was free flowing. And so the birth high continued as I was able to provide that sweet, liquid gold for my precious nursling. 

We just celebrated 9 months of exclusive breastfeeding this past week, and I am extremely proud! We've had ups and downs (which I'll definitely share at a later time) but the ups have definitely exceeded the minor setbacks that we experienced.

What were you most scared about before breastfeeding? Were your fears realized or did you worry for no reason?