A Year in Review: Big Changes FAQ

Today, we continue our look back at a year of tips and nips (see what I did there?) from the Adventures in Breastfeeding team! Monday, Laura covered the most common questions we hear from moms at the beginning of their breastfeeding journeys, so now it's time to talk about what comes after that! Maybe you're still in the newborn phase and wondering what to expect as your nursling grows, or maybe you're a seasoned pro looking for advice on extended breastfeeding. Either way, we have plenty of great answers and personal stories for you fabulous mamas!

I'm going back to work soon and I'm so nervous! Will I still be able to breastfeed?

You can definitely keep nursing even if you work full-time! We have plenty of tips on how to establish a good pumping routine, the best pumping supplies to have on hand, and a VERY IMPORTANT overview of your legal rights as a pumping mom!

Know Your Rights: Pumping in the Workplace

Pumping Counts Too: A Working Mom's Story

Working Mamas Must-Have Pumping Supplies

I've got a handle on breastfeeding and would really like to rejoin normal society. What can I wear? What can I eat? Can I finally have a beer? Am I EVER going to drop this baby weight?!

Breathe, Mama: we've got you covered! There are plenty of cute clothes you can wear that make it easy to nurse your babe, and we have a wildly popular pumpkin spice lactation cookie recipe that even your non-nursing friends will be begging for. YES, you can have that beer, and probably another drink, as well! And definitely bookmark this great post on getting in shape while breastfeeding!

Nursing Wear for the Mama on the Go

Pumpkin Spice Lactation Cookies

Pumping it Up!

You Can Drink That?!

I've decided to nurse beyond a year, but I don't know anyone else who's breastfed for that long. What's it like?

What a wonderful thing to do for your child! Though it may not seem like it, you're in great company! Important things to consider if you're going to practice extended (or "biological") breastfeeding are: how to tell the difference between weaning and a nursing strike, knowing the facts so you can answer the skeptics, setting boundaries with an increasingly communicative and independent toddler, and whether to tandem nurse if another baby is on the way!

Breastfeeding After One

My Baby Isn't Even One.... Is He Weaning?

Boundaries and the Breastfed Toddler

Dinner For Two?

Everyone seems to have an opinion about my decision to breastfeed or nurse in public. I feel so alone sometimes....

We totally get it. That's why we talk about our first experience nursing in public (and later without a cover! GASP!), that time someone reported our beautiful nursing photo, and we highlight some of the amazing breastfeeding art and imagery out there.

5 Awesome Breastfeeding Posters

My First Time Breastfeeding in Public

Someone Reported Your Picture For....

Phew! We've had a busy year with all these boobs and babies! And we have even bigger plans for next year! From the bottoms of our hearts, thank you so much for your interest, support, and incredible feedback! Please stay tuned this month for lots of fresh topics, giveaways, and more exciting changes!

And tell us what topics you'd like to see us cover on the blog, or contact us to become a regular or occasional author! Nurse on, mamas!

Maxi Dress Nursing Look

Maxi Dress Nursing Look by missy-roode featuring a ruched dress

I don't know about you, but I LOVE Fall, and especially Fall fashions! Even better is this brief time between Summer and Fall, when it's still warm enough to wear your lightweight staples, but you can have fun with layering and darker colors.

This would be my ideal nursing look for right now: The maxi dress is simple and flattering, with boho crochet detailing and a surplice neckline that makes quick and inconspicuous nursing a breeze! Cover up with a chambray shirt, either left open or tied at the waist, and add details in cobalt, cognac, and leopard. And remember, comfort is key!

What are some of your favorite current fashions? Any tips for a cute and functional nursing look? Share your ideas in the comments, and let us know what you think of this outfit!

Hang In There, Mama

As I nursed my 16-month-old son to sleep tonight, I thought about what I wanted to write. I could provide useful tips for recognizing low supply, or share my experience with tongue ties, or recommend light and fashionable summer nursing outfits, but I find myself thinking of all the new mothers I know. These are women with fresh and screaming newborns, women with the undisguised tone of desperation and terror in their voices and online posts. I do what I can to help, but repeatedly, I find myself falling back on the most vapid of encouragement:

Hang in there, Mama.

I HATED hearing that when I was living through the horror of new motherhood. Did my more experienced mommy friends really have NOTHING more to offer me than that? No magic bullet solution, no sage advice, no eternal wisdom, or even a trendy mothering "hack" with its own catchphrase and a few blogs devoted to it? That's all you've got for me? "Hang in there????"

But when you've checked and rechecked that newborn's diaper, when you've swaddled him 18 different ways with at least as many blankets, nursed through the excruciating pain and STILL offered the breast after an hour of continuous latching, and tried any number of expensive gadgets that promise to calm your baby, there's only one thing left to do, and that's to hang in there.

One day, you'll be here.

The day will come when your toddler blows kisses to Daddy when it's time for bed. He'll latch onto your no-longer-painful nipple and do an odd planking motion before settling in and draping an arm over your breast as though it's a pillow. After a few minutes, he'll be out and you'll wait to put him in the crib just so you can enjoy a few more moments of precious snuggles.

When he bumps his head on the playground, your breast will calm him, and you won't feel any self-consciousness about nursing him like that out in the open. In fact, you'll see another mother smile at you, and you'll smile back.

One day, you'll put away that stupid pump for the last time, and just feed your toddler when he signs for milk, asks to nurse aloud, or reaches for your shirt. Your supply will adjust perfectly fine and the thought of not having enough milk won't even occur to you.

When your child's unique personality begins to emerge, when he runs and dances and makes faces and blows raspberries and shows you his belly button, you'll marvel that you grew this little person with your body. That as biologically mundane and culturally sensationalized as breasts are, yours were almost solely responsible for the life, growth, and development of another human.

And the memory of that first week and first month will be a distant battle scar, one you share any time your new-mommy friends cry "Is it really this hard?!" Even though you'll be forced to answer "Yes," you can also say,

".... but it gets better."

"Hang in there, Mama."

Someone reported your picture for...

...containing nudity or pornography.

 This is the notification I got from Facebook 1 hour after I posted this picture on my personal and private page.

Someone I know, someone who knows me, looked at this picture and didn't see a special moment. They looked at it and saw nudity or porn.
I was shocked at first, then I was mad. I wanted to tell whoever hit report that they should have hit un-friend if that's how they felt. I wanted to tell the person how much this picture meant to me. I wanted them to know my struggles with breastfeeding. I wanted them to share my accomplishment for making the goal I had set for myself. I wanted to tell them the internal debate I had about whether to post this picture in the first place.
When I booked my daughters pictures for her first birthday I thought about the kind of pictures I wanted. Of course we needed smash cake ones, and ones of her in her birthday dress. When my husband mentioned that he wanted pictures with her I realized that so did I. I had cried a lot in the days leading to her birthday, we survived a year with 2 kids, we watched the most beautiful baby become a little girl, and I made my goal of no formula. I did it! Through slow weight gain,a case of yeast, mastitis twice, I had nourished her mainly with my milk. Just like any accomplishment I wanted a picture to capture it.

When I got the disc with all the birthday pictures,and I saw the look in my girls eyes as she nursed my heart felt happy. Then I debated with myself. Do I put this picture on my Facebook page? I started slow, first my breastfeeding support group, then my local mom group. In the back of my head all I could think was "Do it! This is huge part of who you are, this is how you feed your baby. If this was a bottle in her mouth instead of a breast no one would bat an eye." I took the plunge and posted it along with the rest of her birthday pictures. I'm not sure what I expected, but I can tell you having a friend of family member report it wasn't it.

The upside (and thank goodness for great friends) is the response I got when I called the person out.

To the small minded family or friend who reported my breastfeeding picture. I have breasts. I use my breasts to feed my child. I'm proud of my accomplishment in using my breasts to nurse her this long which was neither easy or without personal sacrifice. A nursing mother is not obscene or immoral in any way. I'm not going to hide because breasts make you uncomfortable. Feel free to remove yourself from my friends list because I don't have time for your b.s.

Before I knew it so many of my friends stood by me. My mom friends, male friends, child free friends, formula feeding friends. They ALL made me cry again and they showed their love and support for me. Because of that I will never be afraid to show who I am , a proud breastfeeding mommy!

My First Time Breastfeeding in Public

When I first started breastfeeding I didn't think I would ever be able to nurse in public.  I needed my boppy, my footrest and my water within arms reach.  I could barely move an inch and the thought of nursing in public was enough to make me want to stay in my apartment for the next two years. 

My very first time breastfeeding in public was at a baseball game, of all places.  Adelaide was four weeks old and there was no getting around it, she needed to be fed.  I was so nervous- how was I going to get her latched, was someone going to see my boob, was someone going to make a negative comment?

I nursed her that day under a blanket, and remember feeling so empowered that I was feeding my daughter.  I was doing it!  She slept the majority of the game, and even got a certificate for her first Mets game.

Since that day, I've nursed at restaurants, on planes, on the beach, in the park, at my office, in a dressing room, on the boardwalk, at the bar, at the mall, at Target, at Costco... you name it, I've nursed there.  Personally, it works best for us to not use a cover.  I wear a nursing tank under my shirt so virtually no skin is exposed.  Most people can't even tell that I'm feeding my child.

And I've never had one person say something negative to me.

My absolute favorite place to nurse in public is at Nordstrom.  They have mother's lounges at every single location with comfy chairs, a changing table, a sink and free wifi.  And little known fact: they will convert any regular bra to a nursing bra for $10!

I also loved that there are private nursing lounges at Camden Yards (and they're air conditioned)!  I would go to the nursing room just to escape the heat!  We love baseball, can you tell?

What about you?  Have you nursed in public?  What's your best nursing in public tip?

Traveling with a Breastfeeding Baby

Since L has been born he's been on an airplane twice (12 weeks and 1 year) and taken two 5-6 hour road trips (5 months and 10 months).  It's my personal opinion that traveling with a breastfeeding baby is easier than bringing formula with you, but then again, everything about formula seems inconvenient to me so I might not be the best judge!

I will say that breastfeeding a 12 week old when traveling by plane and then breastfeeding a one year old are very different experiences!  And traveling by car certainly has different challenges as well! As we are approaching summer, and therefore the time of family vacations, I wanted to share some tips to make travel, by any means of transportation, a little easier.

1. If you're flying and have a layover, check out the airports website to see if they have a nursing mothers room - the bigger airports (where you're most likely to layover) tend to have facilities for nursing mothers.

2.  If you're a little shy about nursing in public, try and book a window seat.  You're more hidden and will, hopefully, be more comfortable.

3.  Remember you can bring breast milk through airport security and there is no limit to how much you can bring.  You'll most likely have to have additional screening, like checking your hands for explosive residue, but they will let you carry on as much as you have.  Just let them know you have it when you get in line.

4. Since new babies eat a lot, if you're traveling by car in the early days try and plan your stops around your baby's feeding schedule.  No one wants to stop at 12 for the adults to have lunch only to have to make another stop an hour later for the baby to eat.

5. Try and drive around nap time.  Get in a good feeding and then start your trip.

6. When your baby is older, if you get slightly off of their feeding schedule it's not the end of the world.  Your little one will let you know if you need to pull over RIGHT NOW for a feeding.

7.  Pumping in the car is awesome!  They make car adapters for most pumps so you won't go through a ton of batteries.  It's the ultimate multi-taskig!

8. Babywearing can make travel, by plane, car or train, so much easier.  Practice nursing in your wrap, sling, or SSC a few times before your trip and you'll be able to nurse your LO while going from gate to gate or when you stop for a much needed leg stretch.

This was L after we landed in Florida for our recent Disney World trip.

Have you traveled with a nursing baby?  If so, what advice would you give someone doing it for the first time?

The Next Generation

When it comes to all topics breastfeeding you hear a lot of talk about "the next generation". Like I have said in previous posts, I nurse in public so that the next generation of moms will hopefully have an easier time feeding their babies without the fear of being harassed. My mom and mother-in-law both breastfed in the 80's which was not the norm back then but they did it for their children and so on. When it came time for me to breastfeed they of course were very supportive and helped me (their next generation) as much as they could because they would have loved for it to have been the norm when they were breastfeeding.

My post today is dedicated to my cousin who has really surprised me this past year when it comes to my "militant" breastfeeding.

When my 11 year old cousin (her dad is my uncle who is also my godfather) first came to see little Bee she had an interesting ritual that she would do when I would say "oh it's time to feed Bee." She would cover her eyes, run out of the room and say "I'm not looking!!!" I don't normally get up and leave the room or go hide in a corner to feed my baby, so I would just sit there and just giggle. I always wondered was it because of my boobs? You couldn't really see. Was it a modesty thing? I am still not sure, although when I was that age it was probably just a "OMG BOOBS you aren't supposed to see those."  I was like that before even when I was older. I figured that moms would just want privacy. I am glad that she was being respectful, but at the same time I didn't want her to think that to breastfeed you should go to a dark corner away from it all. But over the past year she has really grown to be comfortable with my breastfeeding and has really impressed me with her new stance and attitude towards it.

After a few times feeding Annabelle I told her that it was ok for her to stay in the room, that it wasn't anything to run away from. Eventually she would sit with me and just go about what she was doing. My proudest moment of hers was a few months ago when my uncle was teasing me (he likes to tell me to use a cover and holds up a pillow by his face all dramatic and says that I should only be giving her formula) and my cousin bursts out "DAD THAT IS THE BEST AND MOST NATURAL WAY TO FEED A BABY, GEEEEEZ!" I couldnt have been prouder!!! I joked with her mom (who is very supportive of me as well) that I had brainwashed her.

Its moments like that that make me even more excited about my choice to breastfeed loud and proud. I hope that when she is older she chooses to breastfeed and does so with the confidence that I already see in her. I know that this blog will only grow and I hope that she can look back on it when she may need help in those late hours of the night when she is at her wit's end, or that she can call me and know that I will always be there no matter what.

You Think I'm Funny, I Think You're Sad.

Lately there has been an article floating around about places where you shouldn't breastfeed. One of those places was a restaurant. Working at restaurants almost my whole working life this made me laugh. Trust me people, the last thing you need to worry about when eating at a restaurant is the mom sitting near you breastfeeding her baby.

I would consider myself a seasoned NIP. I do it all the time and rarely if ever feel self conscious about it. You name it and I've breastfed there.

Not too long ago my family and I decided we would head to Red Lobster to take advantage of their Endless Shrimp special (I love me some shrimp). It was pretty packed and we were seated at table that was in between two tables. I sat in the back corner with the baby. At one point I started nursing her in the Boba.  In full disclosure: I wasn't showing much skin but if you went ahead and looked IN the carrier I'm sure you could see a little more than the typical cleavage.

At one point while I was nursing her the table behind us started laughing HYSTERICALLY. They continued on for 10+ minutes and I could hear them saying things like "hooter" and "time for the  check".

It didn't take long to realize they had caught a glimpse of me nursing my daughter. My boyfriend and I realized quickly what was going on, who they were laughing at, our son luckily had no idea.

I was mortified.

I was angry.

I'm sad that these parents and their children (all girls) probably don't know any breastfeeding women.

I'm sad that they only view breasts as something that is sexual.

I'm sad that those girls probably weren't breastfed themselves.

I'm sad that when they get older and they have children that if they choose to breastfeed they may not have the support of their parents to feed their baby whenever, wherever instead they'll have to deal with the

remarks that myself and others are used to hearing from our families.

I'm sad that the parents think laughing at someone nourishing their child and encouraging it among their children is the right thing to do.

But I do. And my kids? They won't bat an eye at a breastfeeding mother and lord help them if they do ;).

All you need is... Support

I learned really quickly after my daughter was born that in all my research and knowledge about breastfeeding, no one mentioned how important support was. No, not bra support, personal support. I was so lucky that my significant other supported my decision to breastfeed or at least attempt to breastfeed, and he even went to classes with me and did his own research. He was there in the hospital with me after an emergency C-Section delivery and supported me the entire time.

My first night as a mom, I was already ready to quit breastfeeding. She latched perfectly and ate and ate and ate and ate.... She loved to be connected, but after 3 days of not sleeping, from being uncomfortable at 41 weeks pregnant, and then not being able to sleep in the hospital, the long nursing sessions were wearing on me.

My fiance was great. He encouraged me, and got me snacks and water and anything I needed to get comfortable while nursing. He shooed visitors out of our room so I could feed our daughter without having to cover. Even now, 8 months later, he helps me find places when we are out in public to feed her without being exposed to every one. He'll stand in front of me if I feel like she won't allow me to be discreet.

e's not the only one who I found supported me: I have had women come up to me when I am trying to feed her in public, who say that they appreciate seeing a new mom breastfeeding her baby, and to keep up the good work. I have also had the opposite: people who stare and make rude comments about how I should stay at home or take "the show" to the bathroom. Sometimes, hearing that gets me down, hurts my feelings, but then I think of how "Breast is Best," and I'm a stubborn chick. I know that if I hadn't had the support of these people around me, I wouldn't have a healthy, happy, and chunky 8-month-old who has never had a drop of anything but breastmilk.

I am working on getting a support group started in my community. We live in a small town and many new moms are also single moms who don't have the support of a significant other or family members. I hope to reach out to them and be the support that I feel all new moms deserve. I hope that I can help new and not-so-new moms feel supported though doing the community support group and contributing to this blog.

I Didn't Start Here

About a month ago I was participating at a local La Leche League meeting, going around with the other moms on our experiences with all things breastfeeding. As we were discussing different topics the conversation moved to nursing in public without a cover.

I could feel the woman next to me shift. She was pregnant with her first baby and had decided she wanted to try breastfeeding. Her concerns were not whether she would use a cover or not, but whether breastfeeding would even work for her. She looked at me and said "I don't know if I'll ever get there." I responded with, "I didn't start here."

I didn't start my breastfeeding journey as a lactivist.
I didn't start as pro-breastfeeding.
I didn't start as a supporter of no covers, toddler nursing or self weaning.

 So how did I get here?

Heck, I was breastfed for 2 months. I never saw my mother breastfeed, and only saw my aunts under huge blankets. In fact, before I got pregnant I had only encountered seeing breastfeeding in real life 3 times.

3 times!

During my pregnancy with my first when people asked if I was going to breastfeed my response was, "I'll try but we'll see. I'm not going to stress myself out."


So how did I get here?
My son was placed in my arms, the nurse helped him latch and I was in love. The feeling I got from not just carrying this boy for 9 months but also nourishing him beyond overwhelmed me.

My breastfeeding journey was gradual. I would move to another room or use a cover in those first months. Then as the months, my confidence and the heat grew the cover went away. As we got closer to a year I realized it didn't feel right to wean.

Somewhere along the way I found my voice and wasn't shy about the fact we were still nursing. We made it to 20 months of beautiful breastfeeding and my only regret is that I didn't take more pictures. Now with my daughter I only use the cover when she is feeling distracted, my phone is filled with breastfeeding pictures and I'm looking forward to getting to experience her continuing this relationship as long as she likes.

I sure didn't start here, but I'm happy I got here all the same.