Wordless Wednesday: "Milk" by Helene Knoop

Cloudy With a Chance of Smiles

It's no secret how much I love breastfeeding and the joy it's brought me. But I've also shared before about some of my tough uphill climbs in the roller coaster journey that comes with nursing in particular, and motherhood in general. Those cloudy days are rough, especially when they can range in severity from "I'm so depressed I don't know how to function" to "I dropped the gallon of milk which exploded all over the kitchen and I want to curl into the fetal position."

If you're a mom who's in the throes of one of those cloudy haven't-showered-or-slept-in-days, will-this-hurricane-ever-end, can-I-have-my-boobs-back days/weeks/seasons, lots of hugs to you. I'm not suggesting this little list will solve all your problems, but I'm hoping I can at least give you a chance to smile while you're going through this tough time. So, without further ado...

1. Check out the Humans of New York Facebook page. Brandon photographs people as he walks the streets of NYC and interviews them. The result is often hilarious, melancholy, poignant, or just plain wonderful. His recent trip to Iran resulted in some truly amazing interviews in particular. I love scrolling through and remembering how awesome humanity is.

2. Visit 1000 Awesome Things. I love the poetry there. It inspires me to relish the little triumphs and bits of joy in my day, even when most of the minutes are tough ones.

3. Look at The Kid Should See This. Hands down my favorite blog. It can be so difficult to recharge when you're feeling less than stellar, especially when you have zero alone time. Having a helper hand you wads of toilet paper while you "go" is sometimes helpful and sometimes...not. If you and your little one(s) are on the outs, check out a video on this site together. Learning and marveling together will distract you both from your feelings of stress and help you relax and rediscover what it means to be awed and filled with wonder.

I guarantee you'll find a video here your little one will love, whether s/he's 12 months or 12 years old.
Photo courtesy of The Kid Should See This (see link above)

4. Ask for help. Now, I'm not talking about a cryptic vaguebook. And yes, I am admittedly terrible at the whole SOS thing. But if you can shoot off a text to a family member or friend (or hey, you can call them sobbing if you want, they have to love you anyway) they will jump at the chance to help, whether it's helping with laundry, coming to visit, or just telling a bad knock-knock joke.

5. Celebrate what's right. I've already talked about this before, but if you're in a season when things are grand, pretty pretty please document that grandeur. Because you know what? We humans are forgetful. When we're stuck in the muck it's like we have gratitude amnesia. Having the good stuff written down or typed out or photographed makes it easier to reference when the rainbows and unicorns have left the building. Flipping through my journal I'm reminded of my faith in God (not myself). I see good times and bad in those scribbles, and without a doubt Past Me hollers through the pages, "Hey, maybe this poop-fest won't last forever."

And you know what? Poop-fests rarely do.



What about you? What are your go to strategies for regrouping when you've run out of steam?

Celebrate What's Right

When I began my breastfeeding adventure over a year ago, I was unprepared for the roller coaster highs and lows it would bring. The reason I contribute to this blog is because I want to come alongside moms in encouraging each other, commiserating with one another, and sharing our experiences so we can all know better and do better. This last purpose is why we have loads of troubleshooting tips here, here, here, and here.

One thing that's difficult to troubleshoot is the myriad emotions moms experience as they breastfeed. This journey is fraught with joy, sorrow, frustration, and pride. It means coming face to face with your own shortcomings. Some moms may battle depression. One thing that kept me sane through it all was celebrating what's right with the world.

Several years ago I saw a film by Dewitt Jones, a former photographer for National Geographic. It was called Celebrate What's Right with the World. 

In the introduction to this video on his website, Jones shares some insight about this philosophy:

Photo credit: Dewitt Jones

How easy it is to celebrate a birthday, a marriage, a holiday. How hard it is to hold that same perspective in our daily lives. Everyday we are inundated with messages that tell us what’s wrong with our world. It’s not surprising that we lose sight of all the things that are right with it; of all that is truly worth celebrating. As a photographer, I have a choice of what lens I put on my camera; a choice of how I am going to view the world. I choose to celebrate. Why? Because it imbues me with gratitude, because it allows me to see the best in people and situations, because it fills me with energy.

This idea has stayed with me and has been especially helpful as I settle into motherhood. I try to surround myself with people who inspire and uplift me. I look for ways to refuel, refocus, and celebrate what's right. For me that's my faith and my family. Music. Nature. And most importantly of all, for me that is documenting these celebrations through photos, facebook, and scribbles in my journal. I've had to let go of my perfectionism because capturing joyful moments in any way is more important to me than the perfectly framed shot or perfectly worded caption.

Now that Boo is one, I've spent a little time looking back over these pictures and statuses and little bits of bliss. Life is fine right now, and these things are a reminder to me to be intentional about looking for bliss in the everyday. To be searching for things to celebrate - on purpose.

And when I'm facing tougher times, these tangible pieces are proof of what's right in the world. I can look back at my facebook feed, flip through the baby book, and reread old journals. And as I do, my weary heart marvels at the victories over devastating circumstances and the sweet spots in between the bitter moments. In the midst of sadness, I think to myself, In some far-off life, I had goodness and grace and glorious small wonders. And I look around my life, bleak and blurry, but a little more bearable now that I understand this is only one piece of my story.

This isn't to say I pretend heartache doesn't exist, or ignore sadness around me. It certainly doesn't mean I am the champion of noticing awesomeness in my life (because let's be honest, most of the time I am a hot mess who's too often too busy). I don't run up to a despondent friend and chirp, "Celebrate what's right with the world!" I listen. I notice. And when I take time to celebrate what's right, even when there seem to be more things wrong, I am grateful. I am kinder. And I feel whole.

You

You.

The one whom I loved before I knew.

The one I wept over

Worried over

Prayed over.

The one I delighted in.

The more I grew the more excited I became

As I whispered to you in my belly.

Waves of pain,

Stubborn brain cells willing fearful muscles to relax

And nervous lungs to breathe.

"Oh my goodness" and then...

You.

Miniature wrinkles and brand new fingers

And those eyes: pools of blue

I stared into

As you lifted your little head with great effort to meet my gaze.

That cord wasn't the only thing tying us together.

You

And me.

We.

A dynamic duo since before day one.

Splish splash,

Rockabye,

Mommy's here,

Don't you cry.

And in the midst of this entropic commotion of

Tears and laughter and seven million pictures

You nestle against my breast

And tuck your smooth, sweet smelling hand underneath my collarbone.

Your cherub cheeks grow still as the sucking slows

And your eyelashes quiver like a butterfly's wing.

My heart wants to whisper a prayer of gratitude,

But the heavy warmth of you in my arms

And the smell of milk on your chin

Make finding words impossible.

Except,

"You."

Breastfeeding in Art: A Primer

Neptune Fountain, Giambologna

You've probably seen this image before, since it's been enjoying recent popularity as used in the meme "CALM YOUR TITS."  To anyone but a nursing mother, the concept for this fountain probably looks pretty ridiculous. I know I would have thought "Oh please, milk doesn't squirt out like that...." After a few impressive milky arcs across our living room, however, I see this mermaid and am reminded only that I need to go buy more nursing pads.

On the other hand, the Art History student in me is instantly intrigued: "Ooooh, a Giambologna? What period of his career was this?" So, it seems only natural that my first post is all about Breastfeeding in Art! However, since not everyone wants to approach painted and carved boobs from an academic perspective, I'm endeavoring to keep it light. Which leads me to another amazing fountain:

Artemis Fountain, Gillis van den Vliete

I'm thinking this would be a super-useful anatomical evolution for moms of multiples. Meet Artemis (or Diana), Fertility and Earth Mother goddess of the Ephesians. She was such a big deal that her temple was one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, and this many-breasted portrayal of her was one of the most common. What I find most interesting about this is how being a lactating mother was actually the symbol of her fertility. To the ancients, being a mother was more than giving birth: it included the continued nurturing of children, as well.

The Origin of the Milky Way, Jacopo Tintoretto

Speaking of the ancient Greeks, they had the most amazing myth for the creation of the Milky Way: Athena brought her half-brother Heracles to Hera to nurse, but he suckled so strongly that it caused Hera pain, so she pushed him away (Too bad she didn't have Kellymom to tell her baby Heracles was probably just cluster-feeding and that her pain would subside as his latch improved....). Her milk then sprayed across the heavens and formed the Milky Way. I had no idea the Milky Way was actually named for mothers' milk! Add it to the list of things breastmilk can do: generate celestial formations.

Isis suckling Horus, Cairo

Though the myths are ancient, however, much of the surviving art that depicts them is relatively new: the above images date from the Renaissance. What about breastfeeding imagery that is contemporary with ancient mythology?

Egyptian goddess Isis was worshiped as the ideal wife and mother, commonly invoked in healing spells which were meant to draw on the properties of her milk. She is often depicted nursing her son Horus, whom you might recognize as the god with the hawk's head in his adult form (You think baby's teeth coming in are bad? Just wait until he gets his beak....). Ancient Egyptian sculpture is somewhat famously symmetrical, full of parallel and perpendicular lines, not quite the soft curves we associate with later art. However, that feature does make it pretty iconic, so keep that in mind for comparison with some other nursing sculptures....

Yashoda with the infant Krishna

Getting away from the Western tradition made me curious to see breastfeeding in Eastern art. Fortunately, there were a couple of nifty examples, like this sculpture of the Hindu god Krishna being nursed by his foster mother Yashoda, from 12th-Century India. The blurb I read about this figure says that it is "a subject rarely represented," which I take to mean that despite the abundance of breasts throughout Indian art, nursing is not frequently depicted.

Yotsuya Kaidan, Tsukioka Yoshitoshi

Similarly, I found only one image of a breastfeeding mother in Japanese art. This is an illustration from the Yotsuya Kaidan Ghostly Tales, apparently a very famous Japanese horror story. (Warning: this is about to get super-creepy.) In the tale, ghostly corpses return to both take revenge and enjoy pleasures they missed in life, including a mother who returns to nurse her [living] baby. Gross. There's also a wet-nurse in the story, though, so since this character appears to be decidedly alive, I'm just going to say that's her.

Jumping back to Western art, there's this pretty significant Christian holiday coming up that centers around a baby and his mother, and here, there was absolutely no shortage of breastfeeding imagery, including this painting by no less a master than Leonardo da Vinci, himself!

Madonna Litta, Leonardo da Vinci

The breastfeeding Madonna actually has a name: Maria Lactans or Maria/Virgen de la Leche. Since the resurgence of breastfeeding imagery in general online and in publication, she has become quite the hot topic. The argument is that the reluctance to show Mary with the infant Christ at her breast is to remove a vital part of her identity. Furthermore, some scholars argue that Mary's life-giving milk parallels her son's life-giving blood, further elevating the role of breastfeeding in her importance to modern Christians. On the other side of the argument are those who claim that the symbolic significance of the nursing Madonna is exaggerated due to the current "trendiness" of breastfeeding. I think it's pretty fascinating, but then I'm an art nerd, so if you're interested in reading more, check it out here.

Among the numerous examples of Maria Lactans, I also found this first example of breastfeeding art created by a female artist:

Madonna and Child, Artemisia Gentileschi

You may or may not have heard of Artemisia Gentileschi, but suffice to say that she's known for her depictions of violent murder (Judith Slaying Holofernes), rather than of motherly tenderness. Still, this was apparently one of her first (possibly the first of) paintings she completed without assistance from a man, so it's interesting and not very surprising that she chose a scene to which only a woman can truly relate.

Louise Nursing Her Child, Mary Cassatt

Like Gentileschi, Mary Cassatt was a rare woman in a man's art world, but unlike her Renaissance predecessor, she is best known for her scenes of mothers and children, and so was really in her element drawing and painting sweet images of nursing babes. What I really love about Cassatt's breastfeeding art are the subtle, personal details to which every mother can relate: the baby's hand cupping her mother's breast, or playing with her face. This nursing pair completely ignores the viewer, making the bond between them so much more palpable than in the previous examples.

Charity, William-Adolphe Bouguereau

Besides Mary and other mothers, another figure who frequently appears throughout art history as a nursing woman is the allegorical character of Charity. The image is so common, in fact, that if you ever see a breastfeeding mother in a piece of Western art and it's NOT Mary, you can probably hazard a guess that you're looking at Charity. If she's got two or three infants crawling all over her, you can be absolutely certain. In the example here (which, full disclosure: I picked because it's Bouguereau and I LOVE his work), none of the babies seem to be latched in the right spot, as they're more arranged to hide the goods. Some Victorian patrons were a bit squeamish about breasts, depending on to whom they belonged and what they were doing, but it still would have been clearly understood that these were nursing children.

Landmark for Breastfeeding, D.E.

Finally, here's a piece of modern art depicting a breastfeeding mother you might recognize....

Who's that? Why, it's none other than Angelina Jolie, nursing twins! Completed in 2009, this sculpture sparked some controversy when it was unveiled, less for any offense caused by an image of a woman breastfeeding than the fact that the woman in question is a celebrity. I'm just gonna jump out here and say that I think this is kind of awesome, especially since Angelina's using a football hold on her little nurslings. What really strikes me about this sculpture, though, is that it's SO symmetrical, and full of parallel and perpendicular lines..... just like the Egyptian sculptures of Isis nursing Horus. I think it's no accident that this modern artist, Daniel Edwards, depicted Angelina in a very similar pose to that of a goddess: it's a clear statement about his view of breastfeeding mothers, at once consistent with images of nursing throughout history while at odds with modern sensibilities that suggest it should be hidden.

If you're interested in seeing more breastfeeding art, make sure to check out our Pinterest board (I went a little crazy with the pinning....), and see some of the resources I've listed below. And please, let me know in the comments which of the pieces featured here is your favorite!

Breastfeeding in Art
Maria Lactans
Female Breast as Charity
Lactating Fountains