Like Every Mom: A Bottle-Feeding Mom's Story

Today, we have a Guest Post from our friend Jessica. Unable to breastfeed due to the need to take some heavy-duty medications, she wants to share ways that breastfeeding moms can support mothers like her.

Like every mom, I have a mantra. It keeps me going when the toddler has thrown off his diaper in favor of peeing on the floor, the only food in the fridge is a stick of butter and some olives, and I’ve forgotten to move clothes to the dryer for the third time.

“I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”

Child, if you don’t want your diaper then sit on the toilet. While I order a pizza and wash the damn clothes again. Screw it, let’s just buy new clothes.

This mantra first came to me long ago, when I was freshly pregnant, excited and terrified. I sat in my doctors office as she listed off all the tests, appointments, and risks associated with this new adventure. In passing, before I left, she said “and you won’t be able to breastfeed.”

What? Well, I’ll do the best I can with what I have. That’s all I could say. Because what I have is Crohn's Disease, and by a stroke of faith and luck I found myself in my GI’s office that day discussing the pregnancy that should have been impossible. But I had asked God for this baby, and that changed everything for me.

Months before my pregnancy and after trying every medication on the market (and all of them failing to control my Crohn's), I was put on bi-weekly injections of Humira and daily high doses of Prednisone. For the first time in a long time I was able to eat, I was able to live a normal life, I gained back the 20 pounds I lost to illness, and I was thriving again. I was getting healthy enough for the bowel resection I would need to remove the damaged part of my colon. And then…. BABY! What an awesome surprise! I thought I was getting healthy enough for surgery, but I was actually getting healthy enough to be a mom.

I would be able to wean off the prednisone for my pregnancy, but would have to resume it again after delivery. I would take Humira throughout pregnancy and after delivery. While these two medications worked beautifully to control my illness, they are not nursing-mamma-friendly. From the FDA:

“It is not known whether adalimumab (HUMIRA) is excreted in human milk or absorbed systemically after ingestion. Because many drugs and immunoglobulins are excreted in human milk, 

and because of the potential for serious adverse reactions in nursing infants from HUMIRA, a decision should be made whether to discontinue nursing or to discontinue the drug, taking into account the importance of the drug to the mother.” 

“Systemically administered corticosteroids (PREDNISONE) appear in human milk and could suppress growth, interfere with endogenous corticosteroid production, or cause other untoward effects. Because of the potential for serious adverse reactions in nursing infants from corticosteroids, a decision should be made whether to discontinue nursing or to discontinue the drug, taking into account the importance of the drug to the mother.”

In a nutshell, the FDA says if you really need these medications to live, then you really can’t breastfeed. And breastfeeding was something I’d never given any thought to until I was told I couldn’t. Isn’t it amazing how badly we want something we can’t have? I was going to find a way. There had to be a way.

Funny thing, there was actually no way. There are some things you can’t just will to happen. Defeated, I sulked with a cake. Because pregnancy rationale always wins and cake is delicious. And I knew I would do the best I could with what I had.

I’ve been lucky. In our breastfeeding-friendly community, I was often the only mom scooping formula and shaking bottles. Aside from a few snide remarks from passerby…. “breast is best!” (Correct reply is “and formula is the best alternative!”), I’ve found support from the village of breastfeeding moms. I know this is not the norm. Formula shaming is real, and it hurts. Don’t we all just love our babies? We love them so much our hearts ache. Don’t look at the bottle, look at the mom. Look at the baby. It’s that same love you share. I promise. 

Here’s what I’d like to ask from you beautiful breastfeeding moms. Let me join your village. I have a cute baby and cake and I’m told I’m a blast at parties. Here’s how you can include me:

1) My boobs hurt like hell. Please, for the love of God, help me. 

Somewhere in all the formula research I did, I convinced myself that since I would not be able to nurse, my milk would simply not come in. Hey, guess what? I make TONS of milk. I was wildly unprepared. I found myself staring at the wall of nursing pads at target, boobs on fire and leaking through my shirt. Tell me to get a cabbage, what nursing pads to use. Tell me not to bind the fiery monsters too tight, and to take Benadryl. And most importantly, that this too shall pass.

2) Invite me to mom groups.

You probably saw me maneuvering around breastfeeding circle at the natural baby store. I’m just here for a teething necklace and damn, I should have probably looked into what classes they do here first. Now it’s all awkward when someone asks me to join and I sheepishly shake a bottle of formula in reply. Please save me from my awkwardness. Could you invite me to cloth diapering and baby wearing group? And let’s have lunch after class. It’ll be fun, I promise. 

3) Those bottles are not going to wash themselves

When you come visit me, freshly home with my new babe, the sink will be brimming with half empty bottles. I’m so tired, I’m so sore, and I feel like I’ve been washing bottles for days. The laundry can wait, we don’t need another casserole. Please, wash a few bottles while you’re here. I might cry with joy, seriously. 

4) Feed my baby

The one thing I have loved about formula feeding from day one is that everyone I love can feed my baby. It’s amazing to watch, so awkward at first. Get the boppy, am I holding him right? This angle isn’t right, adjust. And again. How do I hold the bottle? Am I doing this right?

But baby knows. Baby leads, and curls in for a warm meal and a nap. And whoever is holding that bottle relaxes into that sweet amazing place, mesmerized by my little one. You will love that moment and I want to share it with you. 

5) Offer me some milk 

WHAT. Oh, that’s so awkward! Yeah, I know, but that’s ok. Just do it. I can’t ask you for your liquid gold that you’ve pumped for days to acquire (Or weeks? I have no idea.). But you can just throw it out there. “If you ever need some milk, I’ve got a freezer full!” I may never take you up on it, but I will know how much you care about me and my baby. I need that. 

In return, I promise to always support you. Hey, you know that moment when you just want to cry to someone about your latch issues and not hear “oh, I’ve been there” in reply? I’m your girl. I have not been there. Tell me all about it, I’ll just listen. I promise.

When you’re struggling, I will be your biggest cheerleader! I’m so proud to say my friend breastfed for a week, a month, a year, still going. Keep going. I know you can do it, and I know you need to hear it and I will tell you this every day.

When you wean that babe and shed a few tears, I’ll be right there to pick you up and take you out to celebrate. This is a milestone! Let’s go get you a sexy new bra and drink cocktails. Bring your tiny purse that could not possibly fit a pump, it goes great with that new non-nursing shirt!

We can be friends, see? We can do so much for each other. It takes a village because everyone in the village is different. If we were all the same we’d be quite boring, actually. Let’s not be boring, let’s be awesome together. I’ll bake you lactation cookies while you clip formula coupons for me. That’s how awesome moms party.

Jessica is a full time working mom to one fabulous little boy and his epic head of hair. When she’s not in the office, you can find her cooking up Pinterest fails, cursing at her sewing machine, or coloring on the walls with her son.

The Other Breastfeeding Essentials

Today we have a guest post from blogger Kary of Always Painted Usually Chipped, with her recommendations for products that helped her along her breastfeeding journey.

My breastfeeding journey was a long but good 14 months. It started with an extremely anxious pregnant woman and ended with a happy & healthy toddler (and mama!) I’d love to come back to share more details with you, but today I want to share with you my non-traditional list of breastfeeding essentials. Sure, you need your Boppy (LOVE that thing), some burp cloths and of course an iphone to pass the time, but these were my other go to items for the past year (plus!).

1 – Forever 21 $10.81 Jeans – These jeans saved me from a mini breakdown in the mall. After giving birth to my son I was elated to fit back in my prepregnancy jeans pretty quickly. It was so awesome…for about a week. Then I just kept losing more and more and more weight. My body could not keep up with the milk production. I didn’t want to buy all new clothes, but I HAVE to have jeans in my wardrobe. For a self-proclaimed jeans snob, I was shocked when these F21 jeans saved me. They are dirt cheap and fit perfectly. I am just about to outgrow them and get back to my regular jeans, thank goodness, but they were the perfect temporary jeans.

2 - Snacks!! -  In addition to new jeans I also had to buy and eat a TON of food. I like snacks, but the amount I had to eat to keep up with my son eating every two hours was ridiculous. I ate more while breastfeeding than while pregnant, times three. I went through bags of nuts and boxes of these Special K sandwiches, in addition to a ton of oatmeal, guacamole, hummus, string cheese, etc. I felt like I weaned off the snacks as I weaned my son off the breast.

3 – Button-Up Shirts – My personal favorite are from JCrew and JCrew Factory. They are just thick enough so you don’t have to worry about nipple coverage if you just slip on a nursing tank and just thin enough so that you are not sweating (because postpartum hot flashes are no joke!).

4 – Coobie Bras – I wore these bras while pregnant and for a solid year after giving birth. I just put on a real bra for the first time and I feel like a pre-teen with the itch factor going on. These bras fit me from my size A to my full C milk boobs, and back to my size A after breastfeeding. I never found a nursing tank that I LOVED. Sure, there were some that I liked, but I didn’t love any of them like I loved these bras.

5 – Perry Mackin Diaper Bag – I tried quite a few diaper bags. If I’m telling the truth, I tried three. Okay, okay, six. I tried six. After all my trials though I can honestly say that this is the bag for me. I love it and haven’t been inclined to switch since I got it.  You may not think of a diaper bag as a breastfeeding essential, but my son nursed every 2 hours until he was about 8 months old and refused a bottle. If I wanted to leave the house, he was coming with me and that meant bringing diapers, a blanket for a cover, an outfit change, snacks and water for me, etc. Definitely an essential in my book.

6 – Gel Pads – I keep wanting to remove these from my list because I really only used them for the first month, but I can still feel the love I had for these gel pads deep in my heart. The relief of getting one out and putting it on during that first, stress-inducing, nipple-hurting, “can I really do this?" month of breastfeeding keeps them on my list. To be fair, these are not the exact ones that I used since our hospital gave us some, but these seem to be the closest.

Kary is a stay at home mom to an energetic toddler and two cats. She is a military wife to an amazing man and she appreciates him very much for doing the cooking! You can find her over at Always Painted, Usually Chipped.

Thanks, Kary!

For more breastfeeding essentials, check out Christa's post, 5 Things You Really Need to Breastfeed.

"Pumping It Up!" while pumping and breastfeeding

Please welcome guest poster Amy to Adventures in Breastfeeding! We know it can be difficult to get in shape when you have a hungry baby to feed, but Amy has tips and motivation to help you reach your goals!

Yes! You can do intense workouts and get back to your pre-pregnancy weight while breastfeeding!  I’ve debunked that myth.  As a group fitness instructor and mom of a 9 ½ month old baby girl, fitness and nutrition are a major part of my lifestyle.  Like many moms, I was eager to shed the pregnancy weight once I had my baby.  I gained about 40 lbs, and lost a lot of muscle tone.  Prior to getting pregnant, I was in the best physical shape of my life.  Having a baby and getting back into shape has truly been humbling.

Be realistic.  I certainly couldn’t pick up from where I left off with my extreme workouts and competitive running once the baby was born.  So, I walked.  My belly bounced and I was easily winded.  During those boring walks, my mind wandered.  I envisioned myself running strong again, and even coming back faster.  It became my motivation. 

Find your comfort zone, then get out of it.  Eventually, I began incorporating some jogging with my walking.  I started working out in my home gym.  It was tough.  My belly would touch the ground when I did push-ups.  I was easily winded.  However, I never gave up. 

Be patient with weight loss.  I was working out every day.  My strength and endurance was improving.  However, the scale wasn’t budging.  I became frustrated.  As a fitness instructor, I’ve helped people lose hundreds of pounds, but couldn’t lose the weight myself.  I started to resent people who said that the weight would come off easily because I was breastfeeding.  Typically, those people have a commonality: They either don’t have kids, or have never breastfed. With very little sleep and a massive appetite from breast feeding, I thought I was doomed to never lose the pregnancy weight.

1st place in a 5K after having Ava!

No gimmicks.  I did gradually start losing weight, because I was doing it the healthy way with proper diet and exercise.  I never deprive myself of food.  I eat when I’m hungry, but make wise choices.  I think of food as fuel for my workouts, but most importantly as giving the best nutrition to my baby.  No crazy diets.  No fad supplements.  No trendy workouts where I could easily get injured.  It took about 7 months, but I finally felt comfortable in my pre-pregnancy clothes. 

Make the time. Fitness should be part of your daily routine, not a chore.  If getting in shape is a priority, you’ll find the time.  Get off Facebook.  Quit Candy Crush.  Stop baking cookies and knitting scarves.  Depending on my workout, I wake up every day between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m.  I pump my milk and deposit it to my freezer stash.  I either run or do a workout in my home gym before my baby wakes up at 7:30 a.m.  I really enjoy my workouts and look forward to them.  If you find the workouts you love, you’ll stick to them. 

Drink even more water.  As breastfeeding moms, we already drink an abundant amount of water to maintain our supply.  Well, if you’re exercising, you’ll need to drink even more.  I am pretty much glued to my water bottle all day.  I also drink a lot of coconut water as a natural energy drink.  It’s loaded with electrolytes. 

I did it! Ultimately, the vision and determination of coming back stronger and faster became a reality.  Since having my baby in March and breastfeeding strong, I’ve run six 5K races.  I’ve placed 1^st in my division in every race, and beat my personal best time twice.  I am also looking forward to teaching Body Pump again, a fitness class with weights, beginning January 14^th.  My passion for helping others accomplish their fitness goals is stronger than ever now.  None of this was easy to accomplish.  I am still trying to figure out balance in my life with baby.  My next big challenge to overcome is finding the time to style my hair and put on makeup, which seems almost impossible most days.  Ultimately, it’s all about priorities and perspective.  My workouts give me time to myself.  Sometimes it’s the only time I have for myself the entire day, so I look forward to it.

Do you have health and fitness goals this year? Share your hopes and successes!

Amy Drazen lives in Orlando, Florida with her husband and daughter, Ava. She is an accomplished runner and has won various awards in racing. Amy is a certified Les Mills International Group Fitness Instructor in Body Pump and Body Combat. She enjoys healthy cooking and nutrition.





If you want to submit a guest post to Adventures in Breastfeeding please fill out this form. We would love to hear your story and share it with our readers! Don't forget if you have any breastfeeding questions, comments or fun pictures to share feel free to post on our Facebook wall or message us on Facebook!

Pumping Counts Too: A Working Mom's Story

We're so excited to have our very first guest poster on Adventures in Breastfeeding! Please give her a warm welcome as she shares her breastfeeding journey. 

Before Ellie was born, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I’d read gobs of books (just doing what any good librarian would do) that taught me how to correctly position my new bundle of joy and felt as prepared as I could be to make it work. This was despite the fact that no one I was close to knew anything about breastfeeding - my mother and mother-in-law included.

Disclaimer #1: For something that is as natural as natural can be, breastfeeding sure the heck was hard in the beginning.

What the books didn’t do a good job preparing me for were tips on working with flat nipples (thank the Lord for nipple shields which got us through the first 4 months!) and how in the world to go about preparing to go back to work.

Disclaimer #2: This is my story. My story below is what has worked for Ellie and I. Use your mommy instinct to determine what will work best for you.

I went back to work at 6 weeks. While I’m thankful for those precious 6 weeks that I had, it was certainly early to have to introduce a bottle when breastfeeding still felt very awkward for us. But, you do what you have to do! 3 weeks prior to going back to work I started “building my freezer supply.” I had talked extensively with my sister-in-law (a working mom herself and one who had mastered the art of pumping at work long-term) who recommended pumping about an hour after the morning feeding and an hour after the night feeding. I had a slight oversupply, so I was able to put away quite a bit in that first week.

Disclaimer #3: I really didn’t know what the freezer stash was for, but it seemed everyone did it so I figured I would too. In hindsight I haven’t needed the freezer stash except for the very first day back to work. It sure helped knowing I had “backup” available, but I didn’t really need it to the extent that I initially thought.

2 weeks prior to returning to work, I introduced the bottle to Ellie. I pumped her afternoon bottle before she ate it and fed that freshly pumped miracle milk to her. In order to figure out just how much milk needed to be placed in the bottle, Kellymom’s very handy expressed milk calculator was extremely helpful. You punch in how often your baby is eating and you get back an average number of ounces. Pretty cool! I did the once-a-day bottle for the entire 2 weeks prior to starting back to work and also kept up with pumping 1 hour after the morning and evening feedings.

Disclaimer #4: All the literature says to let someone else feed the bottles to avoid issues with confusion, but I didn’t have that luxury since I was home alone with Ellie. Thankfully all went well and by the time I went back to work she was fully on board with taking a bottle.

Once I returned to work, I needed to establish a good routine for pumping. At the time, Ellie was eating 3 times during the hours that I would be away. That first day back, I thawed enough from my freezer for 4 bottles (just in case an extra would be needed). At work, I made sure to pump 3 different times (mid-morning, lunch, and afternoon for 15-20 minutes each). What I pumped that day I gave in bottles the next day and any extra were frozen with the rest of my bulk.

As time went on, Ellie began to expand the amount of time in between her feedings. On weekends I solely nursed and stopped pumping those extra sessions. During the week though, I continued pumping 3 separate times even though she was technically only eating twice while I was away. A good 2 weeks of this and my body was out of whack trying to figure out the foremilk/hindmilk balance. Because I was doing something different on the weekend than during the week, that was apparently enough to confuse my body (live and learn right?). I promptly stopped the extra pump at work, and within a few weeks, the green poops were gone and my supply was regulating.

I can now happily say that at 9 months, Ellie is still exclusively fed with breastmilk and I’m down to pumping once a day on my lunch break (and have been able to keep my supply up just fine).

Disclaimer #5: Literature is right and will tell you that demand (whether nursing or pumping) will signal more milk to be made. For some, dropping pumps may not be the right thing to do. For us, my mantra became pump when baby eats which has continued to work to regulate my oversupply. I also have a baby who makes it known when she’s hungry, who will. not. eat. when she’s not hungry, and who has put herself naturally on her current schedule of eating 4 times a day with one of those 4 times being a 6.25 ounce bottle while I’m away at work. Many will disagree with how I’ve done things, but at the end of the day you do what works and seems most appropriate for the situation.

Pumping totally counts! It’s hard work, certainly isn’t as fun or rewarding as straight out nursing, but the benefits are worth it. Keep calm and pump on!

What has your experience with pumping been like?

Rebecca is Wife to Adam, Mom to Ellie, and an Academic Librarian living in small-town Indiana. Her love of reading, writing, and crafting has sparked several blog attempts - most recently Humbled Ramblings of a Working Mom. You can find her here: http://humbledramblings.wordpress.com

If you want to submit a guest post to Adventures in Breastfeeding please fill out this form. We would love to hear your story and share it with our readers! Don't forget if you have any breastfeeding questions, comments or fun pictures to share feel free to post on our Facebook wall or message us on Facebook!