How to Survive a Growth Spurt in 4 Easy Steps

Ah, growth spurts. Those few days that feel like a few years, when you have to double-check to make sure you're nursing a baby and not a piranha, when you forget if you've had a shower in the last week and you KNOW you haven't slept.... Yep, fun times.

But have hope! Growth spurts don't last forever (THANK. GOD.), and in the 21st Century, there are all kinds of resources that can help you come out the other side more or less in one piece, with a slightly fatter baby than you had before. Just follow these steps.....

1. Know what to expect!

Forget the What to Expect books; you're a modern woman and you need the latest information delivered electronically to carry you through this 48-hour hell! There are two resources that will be indispensable to you during these spurts: One is the wonderful Kellymom, with all the answers to the desperate questions that will come up at 3am when you're trying to latch that screaming infant and she's just not having it.

The other is the Wonder Weeks app. This magnificent tool gives insight into what is happening, biologically and developmentally, to that adorable, squishy, screaming, voracious infant of yours. It will tell you when to expect growth spurts so that they don't catch you by surprise!

Pro Tip: Keep a phone charger next to your nursing station so that you can access these lovely resources any time you need to without having to relocate.

2. Keep water and snacks within reach

It always happens: you sit down to nurse the baby and as soon as he's latched, you feel hungry and thirsty. But alas! There is no food or drink in sight and you just KNOW this is going to be one of those 45min sessions.... So make sure you have several gallons of bottled water scattered within arm's reach of all your favorite nursing spots. You need to keep replenishing your body's fluids both for your milk supply and for your own health, so drink up! Also consider the type of bottle that you can open with only one hand, in case the other is occupied with baby.

And as for food, it's whatever you want, mama! A little indulgence never hurt anyone, but that said, it's best to pack as much of a nutritional punch as you can into your snacks, since your little bundle of joy is getting all his nutrients from you right now. I always found I felt best when I ate something with protein, which usually meant cheese, nuts, something with nut butter. Trail mix or a good old-fashioned granola bar worked best, although the bars tended to make less mess since they came wrapped and all in one piece! Again, pile those suckers up right next to your nursing station: you don't want to run out!

3. Fire up that Netflix queue!

This is hands-down the best advice I got from another mommy-friend during those early weeks. Seriously, if your baby is going to be nursing non-stop for several days, this is the time for a marathon. Never seen Scrubs? Well, there are 9 seasons, so now is the time. How I Met Your Mother? The Tudors? Battlestar Galactica? Doctor Who? (Whoops, sorry, my geek is showing....) Queue up those guilty pleasure shows (sorry, anyone who did not recently give birth doesn't get a vote), plunk your butt down on the couch and just nurse the baby. Forget the dishes that need washing, the inlaws that need entertaining, and the pile of mail that needs sorting. Enjoy your show and don't worry about anything, unless of course your 3-year-old appears to be attempting to burn down the house.

4. Get your support system in place

Husbands, boyfriends, mothers, sisters, friends, and assorted other helpmates are indispensable during a growth spurt. As mentioned above, you will have neither the free hands nor the time to be dealing with chores or unruly older siblings, so someone else needs to be prepared to step in and take care of these things for you. They will also need to refill your food and water as needed (it does sound a little bit like caring for a pet, doesn't it?), bring you the remote control, change the baby, hold the baby while you take a few minutes to pee or even (GASP) take a shower, and say "Yes, dear" as you wax poetical about what damned liars everyone was to tell you that this breastfeeding thing was natural and easy.

This helper should also become an expert feeding pillow-adjuster, amateur psychiatrist, and foot-massager. Make sure they understand that payment is to be rendered in baby snuggles and a few screams as a bonus. DO NOT HESITATE to ask for help when you need it, no matter how silly the request may seem. If you don't have access to someone to help you in your home, make sure you have people on speed-dial who don't mind you calling at any time for a little venting session. Oh, and don't forget to include your lactation consultant in that call list!


.... and two big DON'Ts to keep in mind during these spurts, too: DON'T supplement without express direction from a knowledgable pediatrician, and DON'T try to put your growing baby on a feeding schedule. Both of these actions can harm your supply and negatively impact your baby's growth. Trust your body to feed your baby by nursing on demand!

These are the growth spurt survival tips that worked for me, but maybe you have some I didn't mention. Share your ideas here or on our Facebook page, and nurse on, mamas!

Mythbusters: Pumping Output as an Indicator of Supply

It's one of the first things a breastfeeding mother tends to worry about: "Do I have enough milk to feed my baby?"  It was only a few weeks into my now 19 month breastfeeding journey when my mom asked "Are you sure he's getting enough?  He wants to nurse all the time."  Of course I began to panic and wonder the same thing.  I was so lucky to have amazing and knowledgeable women supporting me as I pushed through those early months but, unfortunately, that's not always the case.

I'm a member of several online breastfeeding support groups and am involved in my local breastfeeding community as well.  I cannot tell you the number of times a woman has come seeking advice, often in a panic, because she didn't think she had enough milk to feed her baby.  Often she states that she can only pump "an ounce or two at a time - even if it's been a few hours since a feeding."

I'm not sure where this idea that a pump is a good judge of milk supply came from but ladies, hear this, IT'S NOT TRUE!!!  A pump is just a device that extracts milk from your breast.

 
And while technology is good, it's not good enough to really replicate the stimulation a baby at your breast as for your milk production and extraction.  There are so many things a pump can't duplicate such as the feel of you little one at the breast, the sounds he/she makes right before and during nursing and even the scent you baby has that bonds the two of you.

Just because you're only getting an ounce or two when you pump does NOT mean that is all your baby gets when he or she nurses.

If you are really concerned about your supply because of slow or  no weight gain or not enough wet/dirty diapers please contact an IBCLC to do a few weighed feedings.  That is a much better indicator of exactly how much your little one is transferring.

Also, it's important to note that as you move further and further into your breastfeeding journey, your ability to respond to a pump my decrease significantly.  Again, this does not necessarily mean your milk is "drying up."  As before, your little one is the best measure of an adequate milk supply.  And besides, the milk you produce for a toddler is much different than the milk you produce for a newborn and they often take much less as they get older and a variety of solids are introduced.

So let's stop this myth right now:  A pump is NOT a good indicator of your supply.  Listen to your baby and not an electrical device when trying to determine if your making enough milk to feed your little one!

Relax and Enjoy the Journey

I'm a very Type A personality. Some might say I'm a bit high strung at times. I prefer intensely passionate. As a first time mom, I wanted to be sure I did everything right. Or at least what I considered to be the "right" way of doing things. Breastfeeding was especially important to me and I got a little overwhelmed with worry. Worry about feeding her enough. Worry about my supply. Worry about enough wet and dirty diapers. Worry about how long it had been since I fed her. I used a tracking app religiously for almost her entire first year of life. I needed to know (down to the minute) how long she nursed, on what side, at what time. In hindsight, it was over the top.

As time went on, I stopped worrying about some things, but my old worries were replaced by new worries. Now I worried that my supply might be slipping since my breasts didn't feel as firm, especially as she went longer between feedings. I worried that she would never learn to sleep on her own without nursing to sleep. I worried that she would hate solid food and want to nurse forever. Okay, some days I still worry about that one.

As I talk with new moms about their breastfeeding concerns and worries, I see that so many moms worry about common things that are usually just sapping our already low supply of energy. With all the Booby Traps out there, it's easy to get caught up in a cycle of self-doubt and worry. After nursing for 17 months (and still going strong!), I've learned many things. One of the most important things I've learned is that most of the time, the fears are unfounded and a waste of time and precious energy. Are there some women who will legitimately have struggles with low supply or baby gaining "enough" weight? Sure. But these tend to be the exception, not the rule.

For most women, we can breastfeed our nurslings knowing that we are giving them everything they need. Instead of worrying about potential problems, enjoy the journey of breastfeeding. Each and every day is special, and we never know which one will be the last. So enjoy every aspect of your breastfeeding journey. Your hurdle might be the success story that another mama needs to get past the same thing. And remember...

Source

FAQ: How can I increase my supply so I can stop supplementing?

Of all the questions we hear from new mothers, this is one of the most common. There are a number of reasons that a mommy may end up supplementing her breastfed baby's intake with formula, but many mothers and pediatricians prefer babies to be exclusively breastfed, if possible. Here are some key pieces of information and basic steps you can take to help achieve exclusive breastfeeding for your child.

1) Call a lactation consultant. Every situation, every family, every mother, and every baby is unique. There is no one-size-fits-all fix, so if you're having any difficulty with breastfeeding or your milk supply, the first thing you should do is set up an appointment with a lactation consultant as early as you can. Lactation Consultants are trained to recognize latch and positioning problems, tongue and lip ties, and many other problems that can hinder your breastfeeding relationship. Don't balk at the cost: it often takes only one visit to point you in the right direction, and in the long run, it's much cheaper than buying formula!

2) Breastfeeding is a supply-and-demand system. Particularly at the beginning, as you establish your supply, the only thing that will regulate how much you make is the frequency with which you completely drain the breast. A baby (even a newborn with a wonky latch) will always drain the breast more effectively and efficiently than a pump, which means that a nursing baby will stimulate your supply more than the pump will. If you've been relying mostly on pumping so far, that could be one reason why your supply hasn't caught up yet. Limiting feed times or adhering to a strict schedule instead of feeding on demand can also cause supply to lag.

3) An additional problem that might be going on if you're supplementing is a bottle preference. It's less work for a baby's mouth to get milk/formula from a bottle than it is to get it from the breast (literally, the tongue has to make a completely different motion), so many babies who are bottle-fed develop a bottle preference and become frustrated at the slower flow of the breast. A problem that comes with that is that they can drink more fluid in less time from the bottle, meaning their stomachs (which are TINY and usually can only hold an ounce or two as newborns) expand faster than they would were they drinking from the breast. And finally, breastmilk is metabolized much faster than formula, meaning a breastfed baby is hungry more often than a formula-fed baby.

As long as your baby can get his food from somewhere other than your breast, he won't be stimulating your production enough to increase your supply.

4) As long as your baby can get his food from somewhere other than your breast, he won't be stimulating your production enough to increase your supply. The most effective solution is also the most upsetting: Stop giving baby formula and offer the breast as often as possible. If he still wants to nurse after 40min, let him! If he wants to nurse again only a few minutes later, let him! If he wants to nurse 3 times in 2 hours, let him! Even if you think you have no milk left, you usually do, and better, if he really does manage to suck you dry, that means he's getting the fat-rich hindmilk, which is great for his weight gain! AND having him nurse you completely empty will send your supply into overdrive..... odds are you'll be engorged within 24 hours!

5) Some mothers who have been in this situation often recommend going into a quiet, dark room and just nursing for hours, some recommend trying skin-to-skin, some recommend co-sleeping, and so on: you'll find what works for you. And keep in mind that fussiness is not always hunger..... if she cries after eating, it could be gas, a wet diaper, tiredness, the desire to be held or swaddled, or just frustration. Keep in mind that your baby is likely to be upset and crying the first few days that you withhold the bottle, but as long as she's having regular wet and dirty diapers, she is healthy and there's no need for concern.

Make sure you are in communication and agreement with a pediatrician you trust at all times while transitioning your baby's diet, both for your child's safety and for your own peace of mind.

Keep calm and nurse on, mamas!

Nipple Shield: Tips and Tricks!

I never knew that a little piece of silicon could rule my life for almost three months, but that's just what happened after my son was born.  Lucas was born with a bubble pallet, posterior tongue tie and a lip tie but was diagnosed a little later (you can find our story here and here) so I had a lot of pain in the beginning and didn't know why.

My lactation consultant decided that I would be a good candidate for a nipple and thus began my three month journey.

I still have our old nipple shields in a plastic bag in L's baby box.  They were a huge part of our lives for the first three months that I just can't bring myself to throw them away.

I hadn't even heard of a nipple shield prior to having my son but I soon learned that some people love them and others think they are horrible for nursing mothers.  The point of this post isn't really to go into that but rather share some important tips and tricks and things you should do if you are using one (under the supervision of an IBCLC if at all possible!).

First, make sure you have the right size nipple shield (yes, there are sizes).  This is where an IBCLC can be really helpful.

Second, if you're using the contact shield (it's got the little dip in it) that should be positioned where your babies nose will end up depending on they type of hold you plan on using.

Third, dunking it in water before putting it on will help it "stick" a little better.

Fourth, cleaning it is important - rinse it in hot water after every use and make sure you sterilize it at least every two days.  Because of this I found having two shields that I alternated between was a huge life saver!

Fifth, if your shield is filled with milk when you're finished feeding that's a good thing.  I doesn't mean your little one isn't eating enough, but rather a sign that you're using the shield correctly, your supply is good and your baby is eating well.

And finally, lets talk about supply.  This is where the controversy usually stems so what are some things you can do to help maintain your supply.  The Medela website (manufacturers of a nipple shield) suggest pumping after every feeding that you use a nipple shield.  Personally, and after talking to several LC's that I'm friends with, I think this is a bit of overkill.   It is important to make sure your breast if being fully drained, both for supply and to avoid clogged ducts and mastitis. 

This is not an exclusive list of things you should keep in mind when using a nipple shield.  And, as always, please remember this is not medical advice and you should always consult an IBCLC for questions in your specific situation.

3 Booby Traps That Almost Ended Our Breastfeeding Relationship

I knew nothing about breastfeeding when my son was born. The problem with that is that, since nursing is a supply-and-demand system, any mistakes or attempted shortcuts can lead to the relationship ending much sooner than the mother would prefer. While I was usually able to course-correct pretty quickly when I realized my errors, the truth is that there was a lot of luck (and, let's be honest, stubbornness) at work in our ultimately successful breastfeeding relationship, not to mention an active and well-informed support network of mamas.

Here are the 3 "Booby Traps" that tripped me up, along with a few tips to avoid them yourself!

1. Cluster Feeding? What's that?

I left the hospital with a packet of breastfeeding information that I barely skimmed before heading home to cuddle my newborn in idyllic domestic bliss.... only to discover that not only did my baby not want to eat for 30 minutes every 3 hours, but he wanted to be attached to my boob nonstop for 4 hours at a time. Any attempt to remove him was met with screaming. Sometimes he would calm for a few minutes and I would think he was finally satisfied, then he would start crying again and not calm until I put him to my breast. I didn't understand how he could still be hungry, or how I could still have milk after it appeared that he had emptied both breasts. Deciding that he must just be comfort-sucking (and needing a break for my poor aching nips), I gave him a pacifier at just 4 days old. This seemed to work, but when we learned his weight gain was much too slow, I began to doubt.

In time, I learned that my new babe was cluster-feeding, and that this non-stop need to nurse actually served the vital purpose of establishing a solid milk supply. I was also told that newborns metabolize breastmilk so fast that they need to nurse again shortly after in order to get all the calories and nutrients they need. In retrospect, it's clear that I was risking my supply by replacing the breast with a pacifier so early, and that I was hampering my child's weight gain by not offering my milk as often as he wanted it.

2. Skipping a Night Feeding

As any new parent knows (and yet, nothing can prepare you), caring for a newborn is utterly exhausting. Having that infant constantly attached to your breast? Even more so. So, it wasn't long before I felt that I needed a break. As detailed in a previous post, I found myself one night feeding my baby a bottle of formula, and going to bed: I was absolutely desperate for even one hour of sleep. This happened several times, and even after I stopped giving formula and started giving pumped milk instead, I regularly missed a night feeding and had my husband give a bottle instead.

I now know that missing feedings so early or at all is to seriously jeopardize the breastfeeding relationship, but I didn't learn until recently that night feedings in particular are especially important. Not only does night feeding promote milk production, but nighttime milk is actually much richer and denser in nutrients than daytime milk. Even though I was replacing the missed feeding with an earlier pump to counteract negative effects to my supply, by skipping the nighttime feeding, I was withholding from my baby much-needed nutrients and fat that would help him grow and be healthy. Furthermore, since a pump is not as effective as a suckling babe at removing milk from the breast, the replaced feeding was probably still impacting my supply. Worst of all, the whole reason I was missing the feed-time was to get some sleep, but studies show that cosleeping moms actually get more sleep than non-cosleepers! I could have fed my baby more and gotten more rest!

3. No Paced Bottle-Feeding

It started harmless enough: I was pumping more than my 2-month-old was eating in a day, so when our daycare provider told us he was eating more, I thought "No problem" and started sending extra ounces with him. Then they kept asking for more, and more, and more, until I was sending at least 20 ounces of pumped milk for a 10-hour separation. I could only pump 16 or so ounces a day, so I was having to fit in extra pumps at night and dip into my meager frozen stash to make up the difference. It was stressful and exhausting, and still it seemed he wanted more. Before long, we decided to move up to a faster-flow nipple on the bottles. One day, I learned that he had had 25 ounces that day. I felt the end was near.... I would never be able to keep up with that pace.

Then, disaster struck: I got laid off. My mostly bottle-fed baby suddenly became an exclusively breastfed baby, and his fury at and rejection of the "slow flow" of my breast made me suspect that he had developed a bottle preference. Someone recommended this Expressed Milk Calculator on Kellymom, and I learned that we had been WAY overfeeding our kid.

A breastfed infant needs an average of 25 ounces of breastmilk in a 24-hour period..... and that's what we were feeding in only 10 hours! A baby does not have to work as hard for milk from a silicone nipple as he does from a breast, so many of them also develop a preference for the bottle, as ours clearly had. While I'm certain they meant well and it was my responsibility to be informed, clearly the daycare had been using feeding as a pacifier, and had I not lost my job, we probably would have needed to start supplementing, which could have led to our nursing relationship ending much sooner than either of us wanted. My layoff was a blessing in disguise, but many mothers remain unaware of the effects of overfeeding, as do well-meaning caregivers.

And Yet....

In spite of all these Booby Traps and the many other trials we have faced on our breastfeeding journey, we recently passed a full year of breastfeeding and are still going strong! If you've fallen victim to a Booby Trap, don't give up! Your body and baby are designed to do this, and with the right information, you can still have a healthy and rewarding breastfeeding relationship!

Increasing Your Milk Supply

 

What ways do you use to increase your milk supply?

Size of Your Baby's Stomach

This is one of my favorite images out there. It's so helpful to know the size of your newborn's stomach! Especially when you're just starting out!

Here's a hint...it's teeny!

Celebrating a Milestone - Remembering a Year of Breastfeeding

On Monday, I reached one of my goals - I have been exclusively breastfeeding (with added solids) for one whole year!! I'm so proud of our journey and feel extremely blessed that I was able to give Nora the best start in life. What could be a better birthday gift than the bonding between mother and child; lowered risk of cancer for both; and immunities to protect your little one?

Birthday girl

As I think back on my first year of motherhood, some of my fondest memories include the special moments of love and relaxation spent with my sweet babe at my breast. When she needed nutrition, my breasts provided. When she needed comfort, my breasts provided. When she couldn't sleep and everything else failed...you guessed it, my breasts provided.

There were also struggles, namely mastitis, flat nipples, and an oversupply. And of course, we dealt with the usual issues like distracted nursing and teething. I remember being so nervous for her to get teeth that would inevitably graze my nipple (or worse). But we made it through all of the issues and challenges, and here we are on the other side.

Milk Coma

I always knew I would breastfeed. For me, there was no other option. As I learned more during pregnancy and then experienced breastfeeding, there was no doubt I'd nurse for a year and assess the situation. There was a brief time when I was feeling a bit "tied down" by nursing, and thought maybe I'd be grateful for the freedom after a year. As Nora was able to go longer in between nursing sessions, that feeling dissipated, and was replaced by me looking forward to sharing that special time together.

Breastfeeding on her birthday

Now that we're at the one year mark, I can't imagine stopping anytime soon. There is no doubt that the perfect situation for us is to allow Nora to self wean, when she decides it is time for our breastfeeding relationship to end. I know it will be a sad day for me, so I'm trying to slowly prepare myself for it. Now if I could only add a new squish so I could tandem nurse...

Breastfeeding and Hospital Stays

Unfortunately last week we had quite the scare with Baby Girl. Through 2 emergency room trips, 3 nights in the pediatric unit, 7 IV pokes and several more pokes for blood test, I can't tell you how many times I said thank goodness for breastfeeding.

Here are some tips on what I learned from this experience.

1-Breastfeed as much as you can, especially during procedures

There was a lot of concern about Baby Girl becoming dehydrated. Fourtunatly the nurses saw how much she was breastfeeding and backed off a bit. It was such a huge source of relief for me knowing that during a time where I was pretty helpless that there was something I could actively do for my daughter. Not to mention how much easier it was to get her to lay still or comfort her during all the poking and proding. We had one nurse laughing at the acrobatics I was doing in order to get on the bed and nurse side lying just so we could get blood taken. At one point Baby Girl would latch, take a drink and then scream at the nurse to let her know she wasn't happy but she wasn't going to let it stop her from getting a drink.

2- Drink lots of water

See #1. You're baby is going to want to nurse. A LOT! You're going to want your baby to nurse a lot. Even if you think your being a pain ask someone to bring you water. Ask the nurse, your partner, even a DR! You're no good to your baby if you aren't good to yourself. One of the best ways and most simple ways to boost supply in drinking enough.

3-Ask for Help

As crazy as it sounds to me, even though I'm breastfeeding and even with a 10 month old in isolation I was not provided a meal during our stay. And with a sick 3 year at home my husband briniging me food wasn't an option. Knowing I need to eat to keep up with the crazy demand I reached out to my church group and my local mommy community. Within minutes a meal train was set up for me. I can't even tell you how grateful I am to have a group of women looking after me so I could focus on my baby.

4-If you can bedshare

This is something I had to push for a bit but we bedhsare at home and with Baby Girl as sick as she was I didn't feel it was time to get her into a crib. Being close to my baby let us both rest and let her nurse as much as she needed to.

5-Do or Don't pack fenugreek

I sent my hubby home to pack us a bag once I found out we were being admitted. After several comments from medical personal that she was going to " suck me dry" he returned to the hospital with lots to drink and fenugreek. While I'm thankful that my hubby even thought to pack it, less appreciated were the reminders that they give me bad gas and the nightly text messages to take my "fart pills"


We are now home and things are mostly back to normal. I'm always amazed at what my body can do and how well it provides. The only downside to the week long breastfeeding marathon is the uncomfortable boost in supply and return of leaky boobs!

Has your baby ever been hospitazied? What helped during your stay?

The 5 Things You *Really* Need to Breastfeed

There are so many products out there that people say you *need* in order to raise a baby or even just to breastfeed. The truth is though that you don't really need much to be able to breastfeed successfully. Yes there are some amazing products out there that really helpful for breastfeeding relationship but at the end of the day..this is all you need:

1. A Baby--Barring any medical complications the baby is the first thing you need to breastfeed and once you have one of those you're good to go. Some babies may have a hard time with breastfeeding at first but usually there is a root cause that can be fixed. Babies don't hate breastfeeding, they love it! 

2. Breastmilk aka YOU--More likely than not your body is going to produce just the amount of breastmilk that you need for your baby. The most important thing to remember is bring your baby to your breast as much as possible and let them nurse nurse nurse. It is NORMAL for them to nurse every 1-2 hours. Breastmilk works on a supply and demand basis. The more is demanded (through breastfeeding and even pumping) the more supply you will have. So nurse that sweet babe on demand! 

3. Support--You'll need support through this entire process some of it relies on other people, your partner, friends and family. But a lot of it relies on you too. Making sure that you know a lot about breastfeeding before actually needed to breastfeed and asking for help when you need! If it's late night and you're in a pinch send a message to our FB page, tweet on twitter with the hashtag #Breastfeeding or #BFCafe or check out Kellymom.com. 

4. Adequate Diet--It takes a lot of effort on your body's part to make breast milk so it's important to make sure you're eating correctly, so that your body is energized. Make sure you're getting lots of fruits, vegetables and protein in your diet. One way you can help with this in the early months when you're exhausted is by preparing freezer meals before you have the baby and having quick and healthy snacks on hand. Think pre-washed salads, apples, carrots, etc. 

5. Water, Water, Water--Whenever I sat down to nurse Mason or Kyla I tried to make sure that I had a bottle of water on hand. Water is key to milk production and not staying hydrated can actually cause you have low supply. So drink up ladies!

Do you agree or disagree? Is this really all you need to breastfeed successfully?
 If not, what else do you think should have made the list? 

Diagnosing A Posterior Tongue Tie

My son was born 16 days early after my induction due to pre-eclampsia. While our breastfeeding relationship seemed to be off to a good start, two weeks later and I was in a world of pain! I honestly believed that if spy agencies used breastfeeding as a method of torture there would be no secrets left to tell! I kept calling Lactation Consultants until I found one that was able to see me right away – something needed to be done because there was no way bleeding, cracked nipples were normal! Our latch looked good so the LC took a closer look inside L's mouth. She immediately diagnosed him as having a bubble, or high, palate. L would not let her get a good look under his tongue but I had been told in the hospital he did not have a tongue tie so we didn’t think that was the issue.

Because he was a late pre-term he lacked buccal fat in his cheeks – so, along with the bubble palate, we thought we had found the issue. I began using a nipple shield and was told that in a few weeks, when the fat started growing in his cheeks, nursing would get better. From that point on our lives were dependent on that silly little piece of silicon. I couldn’t go anywhere without it – in fact, I got nervous if I didn’t have one immediately within arms reach.

Lucas was also eating pretty constantly – if he went more than 20 or 30 minutes without eating he’d start screaming. Each nursing session was also at least an hour. He was constantly falling asleep at the breast and I would have to pat his little bum to get him to keep eating. My life revolved around breastfeeding.  I didn’t mind it, but I had friends with babies only a few weeks older than L and that was NOT the breastfeeding relationship they had with their children. I tried to remind myself every baby was different, but something just didn’t seem right.  

Out of frustration, I finally called the pediatrician and they scheduled an appointment. They asked about my supply, thinking that may be the issue, but I was pumping 4-6 oz AFTER feeding him in the morning so that was ruled out; my son didn’t spit up so they ruled out reflux, the breast did calm him so they said it wasn’t true colic. After 20 minutes I was told I had a fussy baby and I was feeding him too much (He had gained 1.2lbs in about 2 and a half weeks – but remember he was eating constantly and attached to my breast about 16 hours per day). I was told to only feed him for 15-20 minutes per side and then wait at least 2 hours before feeding him again. The pediatrician said that the first few days would be rough but that my baby would “adjust.”

I hated that advice but I felt pressured into doing what the pediatrician told me to do. Those next few days were torture. I’m pretty sure there is video of my husband and I with the baby in the kitchen with the microwave fan on, the water running, us “shhh-shing” and squatting with our 8 week old. Those videos will certainly be used against us at some point in the future! After two days I knew this wasn’t really working and started to feed him more frequently again but not constantly. We began giving him bottles at night and he’d chug 5 or 6 oz if we let him. He made such funny noises when he’d take the bottle (another red flag we totally missed by the way!).

At the 9 week mark Lucas started losing weight. I had also began to have the most horrible pain in my breasts, which I eventually realized was blocked or plugged milk ducts. Literally every two or three days I’d be in the hot shower, massaging my breast and pumping like crazy. I even began taking Lecithin (which does help with plugged ducts in case you were wondering!).

Finally, after posting all of this on a Mommy Group board that I belong to one of the women suggested a posterior tongue tie. My mom, who is amazing and was doing her own research, came up with that same theory. Once we came up with this theory I started doing a ton of a research on the subject. Here is what I learned:

First, posterior tongue ties can be extremely difficult to diagnose. Because breastfeeding became less popular than bottle feeding many years ago a lot of pediatricians are not skilled at discovering anything other than the obvious “snake” tongue or “1 and 2″ tongue ties. **Oh, I should mention there are 4 “levels” of tongue ties.  The first two are very obvious and easy to see, the 3rd and 4th are considered posterior and make diagnosis difficult. 

If you look closely you can see the dip in L's tongue where it was connected

Second, tongue ties and lip ties are considered hereditary. My brother had a tongue tie that was clipped as a baby as well as a lip tie that was not corrected and my father’s brother still has a pretty significant lip tie.

Third, tongue ties, lip ties and bubble pallets are typically related – meaning if you have one, there is a good chance you have another.

And fourth, in order to breastfeed correctly, babies need full movement of their tongue – they need to create a seal around the nipple, preventing slippage, and proper drainage of the breast. A tongue tie prevents this – hence the pain, low weight gain and even plugged ducts you’ll see below.

So what are these tongue tie symptoms? I’ll highlight the ones we had in an effort to save you from reading too much!

• Sore, damaged, cracked nipples that do not go away after the first few weeks of breastfeeding
• Mis-shappen nipples after feeding (flat or pinched typically)
• Frequent feeding
• LONG nursing sessions – an hour or more at times!
• Slow or no weight gain or excessive weight gain (quick explanation – because baby is eating all the time and constantly getting the high calorie foremilk they can gain weight excessively but if feedings are “limited” like was suggested to us they will not gain weight or begin to lose because they aren’t getting enough food)
• Reflux
• Hiccups
• Fussy at breast
• Tense and unable to relax when feeding – think clenched fists, tension in head/neck, etc.
• Colic
• Baby only takes short naps and never sleeps peacefully
• Cannot maintain a seal on breast/bottle – a lot of leakage
• Infrequent swallowing
• Constant need to suck – at breast, on a bottle, paci, fingers, etc.
• Mastitis or recurrent blocked milk ducts
• Supply issues
• Nursing blister on baby’s upper lip
• Green stools
• Unable to maintain a latch at breast
• Noisy feedings – baby makes clicking or popping noises at breast and bottle, loud swallows, etc.
• Excessive gas
• Gagging
• Weak or lazy suck
• Baby falls asleep when feeding constantly
• Snoring when sleeping
• Scoop in the tongue
• Unorganized suck/swallow pattern – doesn’t suck/swallow but rather you get suck, suck, suck, swallow, breathe.
• Excessive drool (not related to teething)

Obviously we had a lot of things going on so I wanted to get into the pediatrician right away! I was pretty sure I had figured out our issue but I needed confirmation and a solution.

Was it a posterior tongue tie?  Finish reading our story here.

Pushing Through the What Ifs.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I felt this constant push towards failure when it came to my desire to breastfeed.

In my head, society wanted me to fail. Friends, family, and even strangers would ask if I planned to breastfeed and my then glowingly haggard face would smile as I said, "Of course! I want the best for my little girl!" I was met with these sorts of replies:

"Oh, well, my so-and-so couldn't because her breasts were too small."

"My friend's mom's sister couldn't because her milk never came in."

"I couldn't because it hurt too much."

"That's just not what mothers did when I had my kids."

"You'll leave the room when you're around others, right?"

"Won't that be inconvenient?"

And so on.

So the idea of what was best for my Lily became a big "what if?"

Photo By Marah Grant Photography

I quickly realized the thing I needed most in my push to breastfeed was support. I had many conversations with my husband about my desire to breastfeed and he stood behind me 100%. He even took it upon himself to research and learn about breastfeeding so he could help me in any way possible. (What a man!) 

In the hospital, I found out that I would need to use a shield to help Lily latch. I had completely flat nipples and her tiny mouth had nothing to latch onto. It was definitely a bump in the road but it was worth it. I just continued to tell myself that nursing with a shield was still nursing and my daughter was still getting the best!

I used my lactation consultant (Hi Sharie!!). She was so helpful to me and even put up with my constant calls and texts the first few weeks when I was so sure I was doing everything wrong. 

I also used my friends. I was so blessed to have a few really close friends that had breastfed their children for at least a year and they were so helpful to me! 

In the almost 9 months since my daughter was born I have come up with this list of advice for new moms that want to breastfeed their babies:

* Gather support from friends and family.

* Use your lactation consultant. A LOT. 

* Be stubborn. 

* Be patient. It will get better!!