A New Adventure In Breastfeding

I ate my words from my last post, mamas. I said something last time we met about my son's lack of interest in giving up nursing and how our breastfeeding relationship was going strong with no end in sight. I was right in the fact that he had no desire to stop but we ended up having to stop pretty abruptly. Shortly after my last post, I found out we are expecting Baby #2!!!

Now, it has always been my dream to be that mom nursing her newborn and toddler in the hospital bed just hours after giving birth. The first few weeks of my pregnancy, I was mourning the loss of that dream. A lot of ladies can nurse through pregnancy with no problems but unfortunately, I'm not one one of them. I have a history of low progesterone that has caused multiple miscarriages in the past, including while nursing. Progesterone and the breastfeeding hormone Prolactin have an inverse relationship so that the more progesterone you have, the less prolactin you have and vice versa. My issue was that if I continued to nurse, my prolactin would remain high, causing my progesterone levels to remain below the threshold needed to sustain a healthy pregnancy and I'd have a greater chance of miscarrying again.  I had to make a decision and I chose to stop nursing at 16 months and start supplementing progesterone to help the odds and keep this baby.

I really don't know who it was harder on - me, C, my husband? My sweet little angel just wanted to nurse and I'd have to push him away from something we both loved so much. I'd have to distract him, redirect him, have my husband rock him to sleep, all to potentially save this little baby I've never met. Last weekend, I tried to relatch him so that we could participate in the Big Latch On for a second year but he wanted nothing to do with it. I cried. I cried when I saw pictures of my friends and their toddler nurslings celebrating this awesome event for the second year in a row. I didn't fully realize until then just how much I missed what we had.

So now, I embark on a new Adventure in Breastfeeding. I get to experience breastfeeding a newborn again. Another first latch. Another look at a newborn that is sustained and growing every hair on it's tiny and lovely smelling head because of what I make for her to eat. Maybe I'll experience a toddler who wants to have what his sister is having for lunch. Who knows?! We will see in a few months and I'll be taking you all on the adventure with me.

Til Next Time, Mamas.
Keep Calm and Nurse On