One Small Thing

I love a fresh start, and I hate that I am the nine millionth person to say something like that this week. Even though it's cliche, it's been on my mind, so it seemed like the right thing to share.

The trouble with fresh starts is that they lead to monotonous, middle-of-the-road plateaus. When I was teaching it felt so good to start off the year with a clean room, organized desk, and aspirations for implementing all that I'd learned over the summer. But by November I was falling into the same clutter-magnet habits and contemplating how many of the 900 items on my list I could check off by 3:15 midnight.

It's funny how quickly normal life chips away at dreams and goals. This fear of not reaching a goal and feeling like a failure paralyzes a perfectionist like me. My best intentions are obliterated by my "everything has to change right now" mentality. So when it comes to eating elephants, I agree with the saying that it happens "one bite at a time."

Here I am, at the start of 2015, ready to try one small thing at a time. So instead of looking at how big of a mess my house is, I'm honing in on this problem I have with dishes. They appear out of nowhere, caked with yuck, towering in piles on the counter. One small thing I'm trying is to empty the clean dishes out of the dishwasher first thing in the morning. That's it.

When it comes to breastfeeding, I dream of change on a macro level where moms don't have to fight a battle to nurse their newborns because they have an extensive support system of friends, family, and knowledgeable medical professionals who can give them accurate advice about breastfeeding.

Talk about a ginormous elephant.

I can't make that change happen overnight. But I can do one small thing. I'm going to start reaching out to new moms I know, just to touch base with them after baby comes. Not to apply pressure. Not to coerce them to breastfeed. Just to say, "Hey, I know this isn't easy. If you need advice, or just need to vent, I am here!"

I feel confident that this small thing could lead to another and before long, the elephant will be history.

Breastfeeding a Toddler in the PICU

On Christmas Eve, my 21-month-old fell headfirst onto a brick landing. We quickly found ourselves in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit to treat a skull fracture and bleeding of the brain. During our 3-day stay, breastfeeding became our greatest strength and refuge (outside the support and prayers of family, of course). These are some thoughts about our experience:

1) Hydration and hunger. By the time little K had his first meal following his accident, it had been nearly 20 hours since he last ate. What's more, he was vomiting as a result of the injury, so he didn't actually hold down food and water until a few hours later. Despite that, he required IV fluids only once during that time. The nurses marveled over how well-hydrated he was, which I attribute directly to the almost constant nursing we'd been doing while in the hospital. Though my supply was not nearly what it had been, I was able to provide for my toddler's most basic needs.

2) Comfort and calm. With the exception of inserting IVs and any large scans that needed to be done, every procedure and vitals check was completed while K was latched. Though he was obviously uncomfortable and hated all the poking and prodding, he would stay still and quiet while doctors and nurses repeatedly took his temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, felt his head, or flushed his IVs. Though he certainly cried often from fear and pain, he could always be calmed by the breast, and nursed so often that he was probably latched more often than not. In truth, my nipples hurt almost as badly as when he was a newborn, but I wouldn't have traded that ability to comfort him for anything.

3) Surprising attitudes toward breastfeeding. Maybe I've just spent too long in hard core hippie California, but I was completely caught off-guard by some of the reactions I received toward my openly breastfeeding a toddler during a crisis. I expected medical professionals, at least (and especially in pediatrics), to be pretty supportive, but many of them were downright squeamish. One nurse got flustered and closed the curtain on us, saying "You don't want anyone seeing THAT. It's an intimate moment." When I thanked her but assured her that I didn't mind (or care) if anyone saw, she began complaining about her friend who "just whips it out at the food court." Another nurse commented "Well, this isn't the most PRIVATE of places," even though we were behind a curtain and it was just us and her. One doctor practically ran away when he walked in on me breastfeeding, muttering "I'll come back when you're finished," and I had to yell for him to come back. And the majority of the staff did an awkward double-take at first.

On the other hand, there were a few bright spots: one of our favorite nurses, a guy, never batted an eye or made a comment. He made sure K was comfortably on the boob before checking him, and chattered cheerfully the whole time as though breastfeeding was total normal (which it is, but ya know). And one nurse passed us while K was pulling at my shirt and said "He looks like he wants to eat! I breastfed both of mine until 30 months!" Still, I was surprised at overall attitude I saw.

There was also the fact that I was giving my son antibodies that may have protected him from some of the nasty germs that inevitably circulate in a hospital, but since all three of us left with a cold, that wasn't quite as successful as advertised.

Naturally, it was a pretty horrible and frightening experience, but I feel that it would have been so much worse if we were not still breastfeeding. A week later, K is still nursing very frequently, whereas we were down to only twice a day before the accident. Also previously, I was working on setting boundaries with him, limiting when and where he could nurse, but that went out the window during his recovery. I can't help but wonder if this may push back weaning a bit (I was not planning to actively wean yet anyway, but I felt like he might lose interest soon). For now, I'm just happy to continue providing what my little man needs.

See also: Nursing in the NICU

A Nursing Mama's 2014 Holiday Gift Guide

Well, it's that time again! Everyone asks what you want and you just kind of stare blankly at them. Not because you don't have a wish list, of course, but because you haven't slept in so long that it takes a few minutes for the wheels to start turning....

Never fear! We're here with a list of our favorite necessary items and little luxuries that will make a nursing mama's life a bit easier and sweeter. Feel free to share it with your clueless spouse or well-meaning in-laws, or maybe use it to discover ideas for another nursing or expectant mother in your life.

Soothing Gels - $7.97

If you have not tried these amazing, magical, wonderful things yet, you are really missing out. The ultimate treatment for sore nipples, gels are a must-have for all those brave mamas who are still in the first six-week window.

Lactation Tea - $8.50

Supply-boosting teas, while effective, taste notoriously gross. Having tested many of the most popular brands, I have to say that David's Tea's "Tea My Baby" breaks that mold. It's DELICIOUS. The addition of cinnamon and cocoa seem to be what really make it sing!

Reusable Nursing Pads - $10.00

Like cloth diapers, reusable nursing pads have many benefits like money saved in buying a million disposables, a more environment-friendly product, and the availability of cute designs! I love all the adorable, customizable options this seller has for a pretty great price!

Oatmeal Dark Chocolate Cookies - $15.82

These made an appearance on last year's gift guide, but they are really THAT AWESOME that we had to bring them back this year. While not technically lactation cookies (no brewer's yeast), they do have oatmeal and protein, and are utterly decadent treats.

Nursing Infinity Scarf - $20.00

While we don't insist that nursing mamas cover up, some simply feel more comfortable with a light cover. If this is you, then check out this fantastic scarf: it's beautiful, lightweight, and easy to use when your little one wants a quick sip while you're out and about!

Nursing Necklace - $29.00

This seller has lots of lovely nursing necklaces to choose from, but the animation geek in me went "SQUEE!" when I saw this adorable My Neighbor Totoro necklace! A great toy for your baby to play with while he nurses (instead of pulling your hair like he usually does....).

Sexy Nursing Bra - $34.00

Do you live in cheap nursing tanks and stained old nursing bras? Well, turns out you can add a little allure back into your wardrobe while still keeping the girls available for that hungry baby. Nursing bras come in some gorgeous styles and for all different body types, so don't be shy: try one!

Henley + Flannel Pajamas - $39.50

Sure, that sexy bra will be great now and then, but after a while, you know you're going to go back to your comfort clothes. A soft, pretty pair of PJs is indispensable when you're going to be up at all hours nursing, so check out all the beautiful options that Victoria's Secret has!

Apparel Gift Card - Your Choice

Not only has nursing wear improved in recent years, but there are a lot of non-nursing styles out there that can still work great for a breastfeeding mom. My personal favorite is a knit dress with a surplice or wrap neckline, allowing easy access for baby and a stylish look. Money for clothes is nearly always a win!

Kindle Fire HD6 - $99.00

If you're still in the early days when each nursing session is at least a half-hour and you seriously need some entertainment, or if you have a busy toddler who needs to be distracted while you nurse his sibling, a tablet can be a great tool for you! For the price, this one has terrific value! There are also older generations that are even cheaper, if you prefer.

And there you have it! Breastfeeding mama gifts to fit every budget this season!

What's on your wish list this year?

Wordless Wednesday: Nursing Mama Problems

When you're trying to swap a pacifier for your nipple without waking your sleeping babe:

Cloudy With a Chance of Smiles

It's no secret how much I love breastfeeding and the joy it's brought me. But I've also shared before about some of my tough uphill climbs in the roller coaster journey that comes with nursing in particular, and motherhood in general. Those cloudy days are rough, especially when they can range in severity from "I'm so depressed I don't know how to function" to "I dropped the gallon of milk which exploded all over the kitchen and I want to curl into the fetal position."

If you're a mom who's in the throes of one of those cloudy haven't-showered-or-slept-in-days, will-this-hurricane-ever-end, can-I-have-my-boobs-back days/weeks/seasons, lots of hugs to you. I'm not suggesting this little list will solve all your problems, but I'm hoping I can at least give you a chance to smile while you're going through this tough time. So, without further ado...

1. Check out the Humans of New York Facebook page. Brandon photographs people as he walks the streets of NYC and interviews them. The result is often hilarious, melancholy, poignant, or just plain wonderful. His recent trip to Iran resulted in some truly amazing interviews in particular. I love scrolling through and remembering how awesome humanity is.

2. Visit 1000 Awesome Things. I love the poetry there. It inspires me to relish the little triumphs and bits of joy in my day, even when most of the minutes are tough ones.

3. Look at The Kid Should See This. Hands down my favorite blog. It can be so difficult to recharge when you're feeling less than stellar, especially when you have zero alone time. Having a helper hand you wads of toilet paper while you "go" is sometimes helpful and sometimes...not. If you and your little one(s) are on the outs, check out a video on this site together. Learning and marveling together will distract you both from your feelings of stress and help you relax and rediscover what it means to be awed and filled with wonder.

I guarantee you'll find a video here your little one will love, whether s/he's 12 months or 12 years old.
Photo courtesy of The Kid Should See This (see link above)

4. Ask for help. Now, I'm not talking about a cryptic vaguebook. And yes, I am admittedly terrible at the whole SOS thing. But if you can shoot off a text to a family member or friend (or hey, you can call them sobbing if you want, they have to love you anyway) they will jump at the chance to help, whether it's helping with laundry, coming to visit, or just telling a bad knock-knock joke.

5. Celebrate what's right. I've already talked about this before, but if you're in a season when things are grand, pretty pretty please document that grandeur. Because you know what? We humans are forgetful. When we're stuck in the muck it's like we have gratitude amnesia. Having the good stuff written down or typed out or photographed makes it easier to reference when the rainbows and unicorns have left the building. Flipping through my journal I'm reminded of my faith in God (not myself). I see good times and bad in those scribbles, and without a doubt Past Me hollers through the pages, "Hey, maybe this poop-fest won't last forever."

And you know what? Poop-fests rarely do.



What about you? What are your go to strategies for regrouping when you've run out of steam?